I have worked in the field of engineering in my career and have been a devotee since about 1978. I wanted to share my story because hopefully it might be inspiring to new devotees who will find something of relevance to their own lives which will help them go further on their path.

I have always been spiritually inclined and very curious. Around the age of five I asked my father if God existed. He answered no, that God does not exist. I cried. At eight, I wanted to meet God and know him. Later my father cautioned me that if I ever did see God I would go crazy! I think in his own way my father was trying to sort out his religious and spiritual beliefs.

Also, to confuse things even more, I had heard somewhere that you could only see the "back of God," whatever that meant. But as for my mother, she was extremely strict when it came to her religion and I was made to feel that I had to be perfect or I would go to hell. I was brought up in a church that believed in eternal damnation.

Still, at a very early age, I began to think of life as a big motion picture. The eyes were cameras. The ears were microphones. The real me wasn't even there. I was the observer. I was beginning to realize the unreality of this movie dream, even though it was many, many years later that I read this spiritual teaching from Yogananda.

By the time I was twenty I was trying to wade through many conflicting religious messages, and felt really messed up. I left home for college and lived in a small apartment, which got me away from my controlling mother, and gave me time to "decompress" and sort out my feelings.

I knew I was a "sinner" and was going to hell, but it seemed everyone else knew they were "saved." As the months went by, I got to the point where I really couldn't accept a God like that. I would rather not believe in God. That lasted less than a day. God was too important to me.

I even wished I could have a simplistic religious view like so many people, unaware and happy. I had no one to whom I could talk with or trust and I became lonely and isolated. The only time I left my apartment was to go to my college classes.

I came to a crisis, an emotional breakdown, and over the course of several weeks I started crying to God to help me. I was desperate. I then lost all hope and started to plan my suicide. I had been interested in mysticism so I would pray to the Christian Mystics to show me something to give me hope. My prayers coalesced into a song, which I composed and sang over and over again:

Christian Mystics of the past,
Tell me of your Golden Rule.
All my hope is gone at last,
Maybe you can see me through.

One evening I received a surprising answer to my prayer. I was relaxing and lying on my back on my bed in my apartment. I started hearing the sound of AUM, and it became deafening. My body went rigid, as if a surge of electrifying energy was flowing through me. I lost all sensation to the outer world. It felt as though I was floating. I became aware of thousands of angelic beings, a host of angels. Legions of angels!

Their presence was tangible, but they were present in some formless way. In unison, they spoke directly to my mind, "Don't give up, your goal is just ahead." As quickly as the experience had started, it was over. I was dumbfounded. All I could say was "WOW." I didn't even know I had a "goal," but within a couple of years (with the help of this spiritual experience) I started to sort out my life, and circumstances aligned themselves to bring Master to me.

These angelic beings didn't exactly fit my frame of reference. They seemed "Eastern" to me. So I set about investigating various Eastern teachings. Over the next three years I tore down everything I had ever believed in and started rebuilding my belief system from scratch, with the goal of discovering the real spiritual truth.

On a whim, which at the time did not make any logistical sense to me, I moved in with a college friend who had graduated and was teaching grade school across town. One day another friend of his told me about Yogananda and Autobiography of a Yogi. This person talked about the marvelous "Kriya yogis." I was interested, but I resisted pursuing this fascinating yogi, Yogananda, for a long time, not wanting to be diverted by yet another worn-out teacher.

However, I did finally settle down enough to read Autobiography of a Yogi, and was instantly hooked. When I read it, I was blown away; yet, I was still in the mode of investigating spiritual paths and by this time I seemed addicted to looking for the next thrill. I figured I would at some point move on from this teaching as well, but soon realized that there was not any spiritual teacher who came anywhere near the dramatic spiritual stature of Yogananda. An interesting thought process developed in which I found myself thinking that I wanted to find something "like" Autobiography of a Yogi, someone "like" Yogananda. Even though both were right in front of me, it was about a year or so later before I accepted Yogananda. I came to realize that he was head and shoulders above everyone else for me.

I started taking the lessons, but only in secret because of my very strict fundamental Christian upbringing. This was about 1978 and I remember thinking that I could never openly follow this path because I couldn't handle the repercussions from my family. So I continued in secret with the lessons. I put my heart and this path together and began to live it. About a year later I moved back to my old neighborhood, and although on the surface it seemed as if nothing had changed, a true and lasting change had taken place within me.

I finally visited the Self-Realization Fellowship Phoenix Temple for the first time and I was greeted by a devotee who was smiling from ear to ear. I couldn't help but smile, too. I met Brother Mokshananda and Brahmachari Isaac working outside in the intense summer heat on the old swamp cooler. Expecting to smell sweaty workmen, I was instead greeted with the most wonderful fragrance emanating from them. Brother Mokshananda gave me a tour of the bookroom and gave me some instructions about the lessons, which helped me get grounded on the path. I also began to regularly, and secretly, attend the services at Temple and get closer to the teachings.

I felt it was in my darkest hour that completely by divine grace I had been afforded a spiritual opportunity to escape from the feeling of being trapped, lost and without hope. It had seemed that out of nowhere a door had opened. It took me a long time to realize the true spiritual freedom I had found. It was also a continuing process, a journey, to accept Yogananda as my Guru, and that happened gradually after attending Phoenix Temple for a while.

The Guru idea was foreign to me. I didn't want to hand the responsibility for my spiritual growth over to someone else. I had viewed this in other religions as an act of giving up personal power. I was resistant to the idea of following a charismatic central figure. And I was feeling embarrassed about having a Guru. For me, it was too Hollywood.

I attended Phoenix Temple on Sundays, and volunteered on service days, but I had a burning, driving question, "When will I know if Yogananda is my Guru?" I couldn't bring myself to ask the minister, even though I think he could see me struggling. He kept telling me to stay at the spiritual eye and eventually I got it that Yogananda would not just impose himself on me as my Guru - I needed to ask him to be my Guru. No one said I had to make that decision, or worse still, that this decision would be made for me. The space was there for me to make that decision.

Even though I desired for Yogananda to be my Guru, there were still lingering doubts: Was he the one capable of taking me to God? Was this the right path for me? I wanted confirmation.

I had read all about the miracles, and was learning the basic techniques as given by Master, but didn't have Kriya initiation yet. I entered into deep thought about it all. Was this what I really wanted? I experienced a period of intense prayer and meditation, sending out soul calls to God, asking for guidance. I had a nagging doubt that this path was just too good to be true.

After this process, and after establishing a wonderful relationship with my future wife, I knew that I needed to read Autobiography of a Yogi for a second time. During that reading, I realized that it was time, past time, for me to accept the Guru/Disciple relationship. I did, very humbly, ask Yogananda to be my Guru. It was then I had an experience that would change my life.

One night as I sat silently in meditation, an unseen force came over me. I could feel the currents in my spine travel three or four times rapidly up and down my spine, very intensely. Next, all my breath was forcefully expelled from my lungs and my body went rigid. It was an incredible surge of energy flowing through my body.

I lost all awareness of the physical world as I became aware of the vast expanse of bliss before me. I was at the center of it, and everywhere present in it. I felt the real me, essentially the same as before, but transfigured, vast and omnipresent, out of the body consciousness. I was in awe of who I really was and there was such relief from the weight of my body. It was very joyful and bliss-filled and I knew that this was a great experience of God.

Then God revealed himself to me in the wonderful form of a masculine figure; a very shy, very awesome, very frightening, and very human presence came into my awareness. I was feeling this Spirit, this energy which I realized was God in the form of Ishvara. He asked me, "Will you love me?"

As he asked me this, wave after wave of love broke over my being. In that love I felt that all of the desires of incarnations were being fulfilled, and that eons of suffering in the body were nothing, that I was enraptured with love, and that I could just let go and be in this love forever. Then I thought about the people who needed me, and as soon as I had those thoughts I was forced back into the body consciousness. It was so repulsive. I felt like I was a genie being poked back into the bottle. I realized how repugnant it is to be trapped in an animal body.

This experience was huge, the biggest spiritual healing and blessing I had ever received. Many questions were answered for me: That God is a God of understanding and that energy is distributed everywhere, and at the cellular level it manifests as the body, and much, much more. Out of this experience I had a lasting blessing. I became a vegetarian without any effort. I no longer was interested in or craved meat.

But amazingly, after all of that, it still wasn't enough. After a few days, doubt entered in again. I had read a magazine article stating that altered states could be produced by a chemical in the brain, so I began to speculate. What if this experience was all the result of brain chemistry...and it had taken place only in my mind?

Shortly after this experience, something happened which removed all doubts for the rest of my life. I lived a few blocks from work and always went home for lunch. One day I arrived home, parked my car, and used my set of keys, which included house and car, to get into the house. I had lunch and when I was ready to go back to work, I couldn't find my keys. I looked everywhere, spending at least twenty minutes or more looking for my keys. I was totally exasperated. When I went back out to my car, there was my key chain placed neatly under the windshield wiper on the driver's side. This was impossible! But there they were....dangling down! When I saw this I felt a wave of energy up my spine, and I thought, "Well, this is not a brain chemical thing going on here! This is my Guru."

I have definitely had to use the teachings in regards to my parents. My wife had come into SRF about the same time as I. We began to date and our relationship became serious. In 1981 we decided to get married in the Phoenix Temple, but my chosen spiritual path was still completely secret from my parents. When we talked to the minister about getting married, he suggested we include family. At the thought, my heart dropped a few notches, but I began to ask myself, "Why not?" So, we had the wedding service at the Temple. It was small, just family members, and then we had a big reception. Everything went smoothly and we went on our honeymoon, but I knew that at some point my mother was going to "let me have it."

She waited three years. She called me one day, after I had just finished a deeply beautiful meditation. She perceived my disarmed frame of mind, and it started. She said she didn't know what she had done wrong because she had raised me in the church, but somehow Satan had got hold of me. She said that she had been appalled at our wedding in the Temple, and how could Yogananda and other Gurus be on the same level as Jesus on the altar? She continued on and on and on for about an hour. For everything she said, I had the perfect response, and I knew that it was Master dropping all those responses in my mind. She was getting more and more exasperated, and I was doing years and years of work in one hour! She finally said that she must disown me because she couldn't have an evil force close to her. I had put it all out on the line, and then she hung up on me. I started to panic. With a sickening feeling, I knew I still wanted her approval.

My wife wisely advised me not to call my mother, so I didn't. I waited for her to make the next move. Three days later she called and said that even though Satan had gotten hold of me she still loved me. Over the next several months she adjusted and finally began to accept that I had changed my spiritual affiliation. With a lot of work, today we have a good relationship and talk a couple of times a week.

My advice to others with similar challenges is to not give up on your dreams. With the power of the Guru behind you, then any challenge with close family members can be overcome, or challenges with the doctrine you were raised in. No matter how deeply embedded you have been in any religion or philosophy and no matter how committed your family may be in keeping you off your true spiritual path, with the Guru behind you there is nothing that cannot be overcome.

The value in Master's teachings and the meditation techniques is that he has been able to bring all of these ancient and advanced techniques to the masses in a very unique way to those who want them. You can get other teachings and very good books, but they will only take you so far. My advice for others would be to really embrace the techniques and make them your own. The advanced meditation techniques are given to us as a very rare gift. A lot of people don't receive this gift, even although so many want the freedom that comes from enlightenment. For whatever reason they are not ready to receive the techniques, which have the extraordinary power to bring you back into Spirit. That's what differentiates Master's teachings from other teachings.

I make changes in my life to bring my activities more in line with my spiritual activities and principles. People discover this for themselves, that if their life is not in alignment with spiritual principles, then it will be necessary to make changes that will support discipleship. This is a step of conscious action to align their lives. The practice of the presence of God is a good deal of psychological work.

You cannot carry around beliefs from the past that prove to be erroneous, or that make you lose attunement with divine principles. It's important to read inspirational books and to remember that the spiritual life is not about withdrawing from duties or the world, but about making yourself a better person where you are right now, in whatever situation you find yourself.

Most people are excited when they come onto the path, but they are intimidated when they discover that they have to work at it. My advice would be that if you feel inclined to follow this path, then cultivate a burning desire for God and Guru and for attaining a blissful experience for spiritual freedom. You have to be willing to burn all your bridges behind you even though this may seem harsh. However, once you commit yourself your progress will speed up considerably and you will realize you have an opportunity to move forth significantly in this lifetime. This is owing to the blessings of having these teachings. Start off slowly, and think of your spiritual path as breaking old habits and establishing new ones. Realize the importance of what you are undertaking.

Paramahansa Yogananda was quite prolific and he wrote his material and gave it to the world to be read and studied. He didn't put it out there to sit on the shelves. He speaks to a world audience and his teachings are universal and practical for people of all faiths and cultures. The universality of his teachings is something that can bring the whole world into harmony. The importance of his works is also validated by how many contemporary spiritual authors use his teachings as the basis of their work. You see it everywhere. For example, popular writers and teachers such as Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer have often referred to Yogananda's teachings. Master's teachings are important on a worldwide scale and impact millions of people.

The world's school systems have knowledge, but they don't teach children how to behave. Nor do the parents because they don't know how to behave themselves. They pass on their bad behaviors to the next generation.

So it's left up to us as individuals to make the conscious choice to learn and grow and to expand beyond the beliefs and conditioning of childhood. With all great religions there are always the 'do this' and 'don't do this' demands we are taught.

But the art of learning how to behave is recognizing God in other people, as well as in you, and treating others as spiritual beings because God resides in them. Just remember, in all people and situations, it is God you are dealing with in others and yourself.

I always felt I was the most unlikely person to become a yogi - and that Master had to pull a lot of strings to get me onto the path. Of all the churches I have ever attended, SRF is one where there is never any pressure to adopt this path.

I would advise anyone interested in this path to ask if this is the right path for you and to investigate until you know if you want to make it your own.

If it is, pursue it wholeheartedly until the end of your life. I hope others who read this will find the kind of inspiration I have found in these teachings and then know and understand this is the real deal.

For those who have a spiritual thirst, it is likely that you will indeed find your thirst quenched and be more joyous than you ever expected.

To walk a true spiritual path is not always the easiest, but most devotees would agree it is the most rewarding.

If you do, you will find that your life will be richly rewarded.